Safety First!
At ElderCare Solutions and Home Companion Solutions, we get calls weekly from family members looking for guidance on decision making for their loved ones. The questions commonly asked are: “How do I know if my mom/dad should start having caregivers in the home?” “How do I know when my parent should no longer drive?” How do I know if I should bring in caregivers or move my loved one to assisted living?”
These are difficult questions. Nothing prepares adult children for the role reversal of caring for their own parents. Often, a full assessment by a trained care manager can help clear up the confusion of what an individual needs. However, there are many warning signs to watch for to help in the decision-making process.
As we age, physical and cognitive health decline. Sometimes, an individual may not be aware of how much more difficult tasks have become until they have a fall or other accident. One example is the 80 year old woman who always managed her own gardening until she twisted her ankle in a hole in her yard and couldn’t get up without help from a neighbor. Although she had always been independent, a sprained ankle was a wake-up call that she needed to start getting help around the house. Another example is the widower who hated getting up at night to urinate so stopped drinking sufficient fluids and wound up in the hospital with dehydration. People who live alone and don’t have family checking in regularly are especially at risk. We see the number of calls for help increase after major holidays because families have seen their elderly relatives and are concerned about their health and well-being.
Checking in with our elderly friends and family is important. But equally important is know what to consider and look for when we check in. The primary goal in every care plan is safety. Promoting and maintaining safety is the most basic human need and a good place to start.
Let’s look at the common questions again.
1. “How do I know if mom/dad should have caregivers in the home? “
Ask yourself the following: Can they navigate in the home without help? Can they freely walk up and down the stairs? Can they shop and cook for themselves? Can they keep the home clean? Can they manage their own personal care? Are they able to remember when to take their medications? Can they get to and from appointments independently?
If the answer to any of these queries is “no,” consider getting assistance.
2. “How do I know when my parent should no longer drive?”
Ask yourself the following: Do I feel safe riding in the care when they are driving? Are their reflexes still strong? Is their eyesight or hearing a concern? Have they had any moving violations or accidents? Is their short-term memory failing?
If the answer to any of these questions is “no,” it may be time to give up driving.
3. “How do I know if I should bring in caregivers or move my loved one to assisted living?”
This is perhaps one of the hardest questions to answer. Some people thrive in assisted living because they enjoy the benefit of socialization. Group meals can improve one’s appetite. And even passive participation in a social environment can have positive effects on mood and outlook. However, many people want to stay in their homes and age in place. The question I encourage families to ask in this scenario is this: are they safe in their home, and can they remain safe in their home? A home with many stairs is a danger to physical safety. A home with no full bathroom on the main level is detrimental to personal hygiene. And finally, having only caregivers for socialization can be limiting.
If asking yourself questions is too difficult, or your loved one is resistive to change, having a care manager assess the situation and be the professional opinion can go a long way to promoting and maintaining the safety, health, and well-being of those we love.
Just my two cents,
Penny